Tuesday, September 29, 2009

That's Gay: Coming Out

It's been way too long since we posted one of Infomania's hilarious That's Gay segments. Since we've been watching even more TV than usual lately, we got an extra kick out of the latest installment on how TV shows handle 'coming out' moments...partly because we watched almost all of these classic moments when they first aired. Enjoy!

The Vampire Diaries: True Blood Lite?

Okay so we tried to watch Vampire Diaries... (still nursing that True Blood dependency). We've watched a few episodes so far and while it's not the worst show in the world, it is pretty cheesy.

At first it struck us as a little bit of a Twilight rip-off, but then we found out that the books that it's based on were written several years before the Twilight books, so who knows, maybe Twilight ripped them off? We'd like to pretend that that's true. (Although the truth is the fact that they've turned these books into a TV show now, of all times, is probably in an attempt at winning some of the Twilight audience. Yep, those sexy teenager vampires are hot right now!)

The Vampire Diaries is pretty tame compared to True Blood. It's basically "True Blood Lite" or "True Blood Teen". And okay, maybe it's not fair for us to compare it to True Blood - it's on a totally different network, based on a totally different story from a totally different set of books, and has a totally different target audience. But we can't help it. We miss True Blood and therefore we're unable to watch any vampire show without comparing it.

So instead of giving the show an actual review (which would end up being totally biased and True Blood-centric anyway) we've decided to just prepare a comparative guide... to see how The Vampire Diaries measures up against True Blood, Twilight and one of our old favorites Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Obviously there are some minor spoilers in here, but if it means that much to you, then you shouldn't be reading reviews anyway... you should just be watching it already.

If Vampire Diaries was True Blood, there would have been a lot more sex and bloodshed (probably in combination) by now. So far there's only been one bloody sex scene and it was non-consensual (the biting, not the sex) and she doesn't remember it the next day anyway. Although it is on the CW at 8:00 - and is marketing primarily to teens and young adults - so we probably can't expect any of the soft core porn that HBO provides.

If Vampire Diaries was Twilight, there would never be any sex, ever.

If Vampire Diaries was True Blood, they wouldn't buy the whole "animal attack" excuse that everyone's been giving for the unexplained, gruesome killings. They would at least investigate the deaths as possible homicides (if not death-by-supernatural-causes). Even a drunken Andy Bellefleur wasn't as inept as the Mystic Falls police department apparently seems to be.

If Vampire Diaries was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, vampires wouldn't want to go back to high school even if they were trying to date teenage girls. Angel never wished he could go back to high school to freshen up on his algebra... he just saw Buffy in the p.m., like a good vampire boyfriend should.

If Vampire Diaries was True Blood, Stefan would've warned Elena to stay the hell away from his homicidal brother Damon. Even if he didn't want to admit to her that his brother is a vampire, he could've still done more to protect her, like Bill has always tried to keep Eric and Sookie apart.

If Vampires Diaries was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Elena wouldn't need Stefan to protect her in the first place... She'd have totally kicked Damon's ass by now. (Either that or she would've slept with him - or maybe both.)

If Vampire Diaries was True Blood, we wouldn't keep expecting someone to burst into a song about the mall the entire time.

If Vampire Diaries was True Blood, Bonnie wouldn't suddenly start having psychic powers just because her grandmother told her she was a witch. Sookie had her powers of telepathy since she was a child. She's now first realizing that she may not be human... but she always knew she was "different". Sam also discovered that he was a shapeshifter early in life. Their powers didn't just come out of nowhere.

If Vampire Diaries was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Bonnie would also be a lesbian.

If Vampire Diaries was True Blood, Stefan and Damon would be dead already from going out in the daylight. (In fact, they would be sick just from staying awake during the daytime, even if they stayed inside.)

If Vampire Diaries was Twilight, the sunlight would make the vampires... sparkle.
We're not completely sure how we feel about the show yet... but apparently the network is feeling pretty good. Its premiere on September 10 scored 4.8 million viewers, making it the CW's most watched new series ever. The CW recently ordered nine more scripts (in addition to the 13 episodes already picked up). It might never be as amazing as True Blood but it's definitely helping us pass the time...

Saturday, September 26, 2009

An Ugly Death for the Beautiful Life

So it's an ugly death for The Beautiful Life . The new CW show was cancelled already after only two episodes. Poor Corbin Bleu got naked for nothing. We knew that show was doomed to failure sorry but we're a little surprised that they cancelled it so quickly. We never even got to write our "this show will probably be cancelled" review. So instead, here is our postmortem review.

The first tip that it was going to fail... they tried to artifically force a nickname for the show instead of letting it happen naturally. (The show's official title was actually The Beautiful Life: TBL. Sorry, but no.) You have to let that happen organically. Even if you are going to force it, you don't name the show the nickname... unless of course, the show is 90210.

The next tip off? The cast. Very beautiful, relatively talented, but something just didn't work. I'd imagine that the bulk of the audience of this show are teens who have aged out of Disney and are looking for something with the familiar faces but a little more "grown up". So the network probably thought they had the perfect combination of new faces and familiar favorites, but something was just... off. It wasn't believable and the chemistry just wasn't there.

Viewers of a certain age just weren't ready to see Corbin Bleu as anyone but Chad Danforth from the High School Musical trilogy. It sucks for him, but it's true. The fact that his character on TBL was a former child model who just couldn't break into the modeling scene as an adult... was appropriate... but let's face it, he's no model. And while Sara Paxton is pretty good at playing the sweet ingenue (Aquamarine and Return to Halloweentown) her actual fans surely love her more as the bitch (Sleepover and Sydney White). And yes, I've seen all of those movies so I know what I'm talking about (fuck you, don't judge me.)

While Mischa Barton of The O.C. is no stranger to playing a "troubled" character - on and off screen - I don't buy her as a bitchy model with a secret baby. The rest of the cast members were also caricatures... It seemed as though they were putting together a formulaic list while writing the script: Bitchy but beautiful female model? Check. Bitchy but beautiful male model? Check. Straight-off-the-farm clueless newbie? Check. Druggie bad boy? Check. Domineering agency head? Check. Famous fashion name-dropping and cameos? Check.

And lastly, the truth is that there are a ton of fashion/modeling shows we've already seen. At least three are on the air right now as I type this: America's Next Top Model and Lifetime sister shows Project Runway and Models of the Runway. Does America really want to see actors and actresses pretend to be models when they can watch the real thing? (Or really, why would the CW want to pay actors and actresses to pretend to be models, when they can get the real thing for practically free?) And if viewers just want to see beautiful teenagers in expensive designer clothes, they can watch Gossip Girl.

The show was apparently so bad that the CW dumped it before even finding a suitable show to run in its place. Word is that they will temporarily fill the slot with re-runs of Melrose Place and perhaps run the dramedy Life UneXpected as a mid-season replacement (you know, when Melrose Place is also ultimately cancelled). The network is also in talks about picking up two reality program - a show following New York socialite Tinsley Mortimer and another about flight attendants, called Fly Girls (not to be confused with the PBS doc of the same name about Women Airforce Service Pilots, although that would be interesting.)

Before we go, we thought we'd give you all a little something to remember the show by... so here's a nakie Corbin Bleu one more time...

Thursday, September 24, 2009

We already know how the One Million Moms feel about cougars. So of course, we were surprised that they hadn't (yet?) taken any action against the new ABC show Cougar Town... especially since they already bashed its lead-in show Modern Family without having even seen it.

Cougar Town follows the story of a recently divorced single mother as she "explores the honest truths about dating and aging in a beauty and youth obsessed culture" and stars Courteney Cox.

Even more surprising than the fact that we haven't received any OMM action alerts yet... is that ABC is being a little bit anti-cougar themselves! (Or, you know, anti-real-cougar.) Apparently the dating website CougarLife.com tried to run a commercial during the show, but ABC said they didn't feel it was "appropriate". The website's founder Claudia Openkelder released a statement:
It appears the executives at ABC seem a little too insecure to allow the notion of real world cougars to exist anywhere other than in the realm of fiction. [via PerezHilton.com]
Frankly, I'm surprised that ABC is being so hypocritical. They obviously realize that cougars are totally in right now (as far as TV/movie trends go, they're right up there with widowers and gigolos) or they wouldn't be airing Cougar Town in the first place.

So what was so inappropriate about the commercial?

I don't know. Maybe the fact that it portrays an older woman as an object of lust for younger men makes some people uncomfortable...? But if that's the case, then why are they watching Cougar Town? And the show itself is way way way more sexually explicit than the commercial is... so what's the problem?

Executive Producer Kevin Biegel has described the show on the ABC website:

I’ve always been surrounded by very, very strong women—my mother, my sister, my wife—and I always wanted to write something that would both honor them and take advantage of their stories. [...] I love that our show is about a women [sic] confidentially and honestly discussing aging, dating and life, and if I can promise you anything it’s that we won’t pull any punches and gloss over some of the uglier, harsher truths.
Hm. So ABC isn't going to pull any punches or gloss over the truth on their TV show, but they will do it about the fact that real life cougars do exist outside of their television fantasy land?

You'd think that ABC would be trying to cater to the strong, confident cougar demographic as much as possible. (The fact is that women over 40 is a huge demographic - one that has enormous spending power.) They're probably going to be a big percentage of the audience of Cougar Town, so you'd think ABC would want to air commercials designed with them in mind. At the least, it would be nice to see some ads geared toward older women that weren't for anti-aging products or home cleaning supplies.

Unless of course, cougars are actually the butt of Biegel's joke. Does he - and the rest of the ABC bigwigs - think that cougars are "good TV" but not worth taking seriously as TV viewers?

As a cougar-in-training or "Cougar Pup" (don't ever call me a "Puma" or I'll scratch your eyes out), I've found that a lot of cougar humor can toe the line of funny and offensive. The concept of sexy older women dating (or just seducing) younger men has been around for ages in movies and television shows... from Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate to Samantha from Sex and the City.

As with the whole MILF movement (the cougar's previous incarnation that gained popularity with Stifler's mom in American Pie) movies and TV shows often bounce back and forth between adoration and ridicule over the concept of an older woman daring to still be sexy... and sexual.

I also recently watched the pilot episode of the new CBS show Accidentally On Purpose (and that's exactly how I watched it, accidentally... on purpose). It has a very different storyline but a similar sentiment: an "older" (she's 37) woman, played by Jenna Elfman, finds herself pregnant after a one night stand with a younger guy... and then hijinks ensue! My favorite part of the episode came when the saucy sidekick (Ashley Jensen) responds to use of the word "cougar" with "I prefer the term lynx or ocelot." Maybe CougarLife.com can advertise on CBS instead.

It's time that we put to rest the stupid, sexist double standard that makes it acceptable for older men (or manthers) to date younger women while still shaming the older women who date younger men (or cubs). That's basically the message in Cougar Town so it's pretty stupid for ABC to refuse to back that up with their advertisers as well.

Edited: Some people have contacted us to let us know that the CougarLife.com commercial did run(we watched it online so we missed it). However, after some further investigation we learned that it only ran in some areas. The site's founder Claudia explained:

ABC corporate DID reject airing the commercial but some locally owned ABC stations didn't agree with the corporate positioning and decided to run it.
Hope that clears everything up.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The One Million Moms Against A Modern Family

Remember a few days ago when I said that it seems like the One Million Moms are just phoning it in with their action alerts lately? Well, I spoke too soon. This week, the Moms are targeting the new ABC comedy Modern Family, which premieres tonight. It doesn't seem like they actually bothered to watch the premiere before condemning the show, but thanks to an advanced screening offer from Television Without Pity, I was able to watch it earlier today so that I'd know just how wrong the Moms are this time.

Let's break down their barely-there action alert:

Let ABC know you will not be watching 'Modern Family'

ABC's new comedy "Modern Family" series premiere is Wednesday, September 23rd at 9:00/8:00 central. ABC claims "Modern Family" will be their # 1 show, but most Christians would disagree.
It's nice of the One Million Moms to appoint themselves as the spokeswomen for "most Christians", and I also enjoy the implication that every TV show on the air has to have the Conservative Christian Stamp of Approval. But I don't quite understand how they're going to "disagree" with ABC's claim that Modern Family is going to be a #1 show. If ABC was saying this was their "best" new show, it would make more sense, but "#1 show" claims usually refer to popularity. (Although I'm sure ABC would also say that the show was great and hilarious and all that stuff.) How are the Moms able to magically "disagree" with the ratings for a show that hasn't premiered yet?
ABC has labeled this program as "One Big, Straight, Gay, Multi-cultural, Traditional, Funniest New Comedy of the fall." ABC wants you to laugh with ALL of America by watching what they call "America's funniest family."

Parents are outraged! The three households, which they call one "unique" family include:

• A homosexual couple.
• These two men adopt a daughter from another country and cultural background.
• A somewhat traditional couple with three children.
• This husband/father is attracted to his sister-in-law.
• She is from a different nationality which they poke fun of and recently married into this family to a man much older than her, and she already has a teenage son.

Wow, gay and multi-cultural? No wonder the Moms are outraged. Of course they have a problem with the fact that the gay couple adopted a baby, but apparently it's also a problem that the baby is "from another country and cultural background". It's also a problem that the father of one of the gay men is married to a younger woman who is also "from a different nationality". (Her "teenage son" is actually only 11, not that it really matters - his age is mentioned in the premiere that the Moms didn't bother to watch.) Yes, this white family has now been adulterated not just with homosexuality but also with not one but two different "cultural backgrounds". What a nightmare. I wish that this action alert had provided some more details as to why a "multi-cultural" family is so terribly offensive and outrageous, because without those details I'm forced to conclude that the One Million Moms are a bunch of ignorant bigots, and I just hate to do that.

The program is confusing to adults, and will be for the children in the show and those who may see it. ABC took every non-traditional issue and rolled it into this one family they call "modern."
Is it really so confusing? Lot of people have big, crazy, complicated families. Oh, wait, I get it - "confusing" is code for 'I'm afraid my kids might see this show and get the insane notion in their heads that there are lots of different types of families out there and that's actually okay'. Also, they act as if there's a value judgment attached to a word like "modern", which isn't necessarily the case. Whether the Moms like it or not, there are lots of "unique" families out there in the world today.


Let ABC know you and your family will not be watching the series premiere of "Modern Family" and any episodes following.

Send ABC an email stating you are outraged by this new program and are highly offended by the homosexual content and the inappropriate age difference of spouses.
We knew that the Moms would object to the gay content in the show as they always do, and they even threw in some bonus racism to spice up this particular action alert. But yes, in case you missed it earlier, they are actually now even deciding for the rest of us what constitutes an "appropriate" age difference for married couples. Where would we all be without their guidance?

As I said, I watched the premiere of Modern Family, and I thought it was okay - not really my thing, but kinda cute and relatively harmless. There are lots of stereotypical TV characters and plots going on: there's the 'spicy Latina', who says stuff like "you live down here, but I live up here!" when her husband tells her she should try to be less "emotional"; the guy who thinks he's the "cool dad" but really isn't; the drama queen gay guy; the mom who used to be slutty and wants to make sure her daughters don't follow in her footsteps; and the grumpy father with an Archie Bunker streak who just (maybe, possibly) has a heart in there somewhere.

I could understand it if some people were bothered by the depictions of some of the characters on this show (although I'd probably give them the benefit of the doubt for a few more episodes rather than judging too much on one half-hour episode), but as usual what offends me is the list of things that the One Million Moms have deemed "outrageous" or "inappropriate". The OMM's claim that the only normal families are the ones that are white, heterosexual, and Christian - and oh by the way, no inappropriate age differences or cultural backgrounds please! - is way more offensive than any goofy sitcom could ever be.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

One Million Moms Target Glee

Apparently the One Million Moms have squeezed all that they can out of their protest of Secret Life of the American Teenager, so they went looking for a new teen show to be horribly offended by, and they found Glee.

I have to admit that at this point we basically use OMM as a reverse recommendations system. If they're offended by something, we'll probably like it. So when I found out that they were describing Glee as "extremely inappropriate...obscene...vulgar...far from a family-friendly program", I immediately went to Hulu and watched the first two episodes. The show is really cute and fun and I've added it to my DVR. Thanks Moms!

Here's the action alert. The alert is based only on the second episode of the show - we received it the day before the third episode aired, and it's clear that they didn't watch the pilot, which is pretty harmless.

'GLEE' is not another 'High School Musical'

There is singing and dancing in FOX's new television program "GLEE," but this is no "High School Musical." It is far from a family-friendly program. "GLEE" is another show targeting children and teens.

From Ryan Murphy, the creator of "Nip/Tuck," comes "GLEE," a new series which follows an optimistic teacher attempting to save their high school's Glee Club. "GLEE" is not as graphic as "Nip/Tuck," but just as offensive.

The music chosen for this show is extremely inappropriate especially for school activities. The choreographed routines are obscene and contain vulgar dancing which they perform for the student body.

The writers mock Christianity when the principal tries to discipline the Glee Club by having them select their music from a list of songs with either "Jesus" or "balloons" in the title which they translate as punishment.

Similar to most teen shows today all the students can talk about is s*x. Male students discuss grinding, erupting, and how girl's skirts are so short they can almost see their ovaries.

Students show disrespect to their teacher and guidance counselor by telling them to "get a room."

This is only a few of the high points or should we say low points of one episode.

Let's review some of the high points or should we say low points of this action alert.

~Glee isn't High School Musical - Often the One Million Moms complain about "inappropriate" shows being on stations that are supposedly family-friendly. This is a big part of their issue with Secret Life, which is on ABC Family. But Glee is on Fox, not ABC Family or Disney. So while they may be targeting teens with Glee, I don't think it's accurate to say that they're targeting young children or claiming to be a more family-friendly show than they are. The show is rated TV-PG - that means "Parental Guidance Suggested", ladies - and I checked the most recent episode and the rating specifically indicates "some suggestive dialogue" and "some sexual situations" in addition to the TV-PG. So again, the show isn't pretending to be something that it's not, and parents are getting an honest assessment of the show up front to help them decide whether to let their kids watch it. So what's the problem?

~Glee is just as offensive as Nip/Tuck - Seriously? I'm not even going to bother with that one, because anyone who's ever watched even one episode of Nip/Tuck knows how ridiculous that comparison is.

~The writers mock Christianity - It seems like a real stretch to say that the scene where the principal gives out the list of approved songs for the Glee Club is "mocking Christianity" just because there's a silly joke involving Jesus. The point is that the songs aren't exactly rocking Glee Club material, not that Christian music is horrible or that Christianity is stupid. Personally, I like to think that Jesus has a sense of humor and, as Kathy Griffin says, bigger fish to fry.

~S*x strikes again - The alert mentions all of the "offensive" sex talk and the sexy dance routine in the episode, but I'm shocked that they didn't single out Rachel's speech to the 'celibacy club' about how it's stupid to encourage abstinence-only in teens because it's doesn't work, so they should be talking about contraception instead. (I imagine the cheerleader who reacts to this by saying "don't you dare mention the C-word!" as a future Million Mom in training.) When Rachel ends by saying "girls want sex just as much as guys do", I imagine heads exploding in the OMM viewing room. And I can't wait to hear their thoughts on the Acafellas' performance of "I Wanna Sex You Up" at the PTA meeting in the third episode.

~Students show disrespect to their teacher and guidance counselor by telling them to "get a room." - Only ONE student says this, and she's one of the obnoxious cheerleaders. In the scene it's presented as the bitchy girl making a rude and bitchy comment to her teacher, not as if it's a normal thing that any of the students might say.

This is such a thin list of "offenses". I think the Moms are really grasping at straws this time. And it's not like there's a shortage of shows that OMM could protest if they wanted to. Haven't they ever seen Gossip Girl? (Actually, our guess is that they just have the entire CW network on a black list and consider it a lost cause.)

It's also funny how they don't even really bother to flesh out some of these action alerts with a lot of details anymore. They say that "the music chosen for this show is extremely inappropriate" but don't bother to specify which songs they were offended by. (What, they got no love for Journey?) Then at the end they say "this is only a few of the high points or should we say low points of one episode". Well, if that's the case, why don't they list some more? (Don't tell me that gag reflex joke went over your heads, Moms.) It's like they're at the point now where they feel like they can say 'trust us, this is horribly offensive, you should protest it' without really justifying it.

I also have to say that I'm surprised they didn't really say anything about all of the gay content in the show - Rachel having two dads, the glee club having a gay member, etc. Maybe they wanted to save something for the next action alert, and if so you know that we'll be there to pick their arguments apart. In the meantime, check out the pilot episode of this inappropriate and offensive show that we love:

Glee: The Complete First Season is not  High School Musical (Encore Edition) or Nip/Tuck: The Complete Second Season

Thursday, September 17, 2009

The ESC's True Blood Diversion Program

So we're still trying to find a way to fill the void left by True Blood until next season. We've compiled a list of a few different ways to possibly distract ourselves - and any of our fellow True Blood fans - until Season 3.

1. Start reading the Southern Vampire Mysteries books that were the inspiration for the True Blood series. (If that's not enough, we're sure we can find plenty of other books about sexy vampires).

2. Start watching any other show we can possible find to take True Blood's place. We're giving Vampire Diaries (a.k.a. "True Blood Lite") a shot... but aren't overly optimistic.

3. Rent Twilight. No, we're just kidding, we're not going to rent Twilight! Well, okay maybe we'll rent it, as long as we can watch it with the RiffTrax.com commentary in the background. (Check out a trailer here).

4. Stock up on Tru Blood beverage and mix up some cool cocktails.

5. Watch that Lady GaGa video with Alexander SkarsgÄrd in it and the on a loop. (Or rotate between that and the Depeche Mode "Corrupt" video.)

6. Order True Blood on DVD.

7. Make more True Blood-related merchandise and wear it everywhere. (Or check out other True Blood goodies and "paraphernalia".)

8. Listen to the True Blood original TV soundtrack and Nathan Barr's True Blood score.

9. Stay updated on True Blood happenings by checking out their Official Fan Page on Facebook or following them on twitter at twitter.com/TrueBloodHBO (or fan site twitter.com/truebloodnet).

10. Continue to blog about it non-stop until the episodes start.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Fall TV Preview

So our beloved True Blood (HBO) ended its 2nd season - as you already know - and we're not quite sure what to do with ourselves. We checked out the first episode of Vampire Diaries (the CW) and while it was sort of like "True Blood Lite", we're not sure if it will end up being an acceptable substitute.

Jezebel has gotten herself hooked on Mad Men (the 3rd season came back to AMC a few weeks ago) and I'm totally psyched for the next season of Heroes (the 4th season returns to NBC on September 21). Even though it's been progressively getting dumber, I'm still obsessed with it and I have no shame in that. And you know we're both going to watch the newest season of Bones (Fox, September 17) after we accidentally got ourselves addicted to it in our hotel room while we were in Chicago for Blogher09.

But we weren't really sure what else was in store for us this Fall.... so we checked out the New York magazine "<a target="_blank" href="http://nymag.com/guides/fallpreview/2009/tv/58499/">Fall Preview</a>" issue to see what else we could possibly set our trusty DVRs to record.

The series premiere of the "new" Melrose Place apparently aired on the CW on September 8th and we both just completely missed it. And we're really okay with that. Sure we occasionally watched the old version and we even watched some of the new 90210 and the CW is a guilty pleasure (I know Jezebel is going to watch the new season of Gossip Girl on September 14)... but we just couldn't bring ourselves to care about Melrose Place again. Maybe we'll check out an episode or two before the series gets cancelled, um, we mean before the first season comes to an end. Maybe.

We are definitely going to set the DVRs for The Beautiful Life (the CW, September 16) because we're just dying to see if former Disney stars Corbin Bleu and Sara Paxton can pull off the so-called "glamorous world of New York's fashion elite". Plus we have to support any show that gives us another naked picture scandal (just kidding) but we're not exactly overly optimistic.

Bored to Death (HBO, September 20) looks... interesting but we're not sure about HBO right now. They've been a little hit-and-miss lately. True Blood has been pretty damn great, but some of their other shows have sucked hard (for example Hung is some serious crap and Entourage has been slowly going downhill).

Check out the full Fall Preview from New York mag and let us know which shows you recommend or are getting excited about.

Monday, September 14, 2009

The ESC on the True Blood Season Finale

Should we even bother writing something about the True Blood season finale? It was a big let down.

I liked it fine, but it wasn't as OMG as I was expecting. "Lick the egg!"

So gross!

That was such a lame cliffhanger. Oh, it's an ostrich egg.

I'm still mad at Tara for going back. What a moron.

I know, that was ridiculous. I get it, she wanted to rescue stupid Eggs...but exactly how was she planning on doing that?

And why would Sookie think that it was safe for Lafayette to go with her? Or even Dumb and Dumber (Jason and Andy)?

I guess she figured that if he hadn't been affected already he wouldn't be, but that was a stupid assumption.

She should've been with a bunch of vampires or something. Or "shifters", heh. Wait... Maryann's there because of Sam, but she said Tara summoned her. So which is it?

Well, Bill thinks it's because of Sam.

She is, she even told Sookie that.

Maybe she was just fucking with Tara cause she's a crazy maenad...

But the hallucination Tara had of herself as a little girl did have the black eyes.

...or it's Tara who created the conditions that made it possible for her to come to town. But her purpose in coming is to find Sam.

Oooh yeah that's possible.

Or we'll pretend that's the reason.

Okay, I really don't understand what the obsession with Sam is... He appeared naked, a virgin, at the statue... I dont get this at all...

I think maybe it's related to what the queen said on the last episode. She's been waiting forever for this god to come, and he hasn't, so she's kinda grasping at straws like 'oh yes here's the perfect symbolism!'

I get that she's always looking for the 'perfect' sacrifice.... but why just a quickie murder by the lake for Daphne, but the big 'to do' wedding ceremony and meat altar over the sacrifice of Sam? She killed her and the voodoo lady just for funsies? For snacks?

She's improvising the recipe!
I love the shit she says. "That's hitting me. You're not committing to this AT ALL."

That was the best line.

I love this one: "I'm a waitress. What the fuck are you?"

The only somewhat helpful thing Maryann did was make Sookie realize 'hey maybe I'm not totally human'.

What do you think is the significance of the flashback? She's good at throwing chains so she's not human?

I'm not sure about the flashback, good question. Maybe just her remembering another time when she was like 'how the fuck did I do that?'

How does the queen know that Sookie isn't human? How does she really know her at all?

Not sure. Sookie's cousin is living there. Not that she seemed to know much (about anything), but clearly there's some kind of connection.

There's something in the books about the whole reason Bill and Sookie got together in the first place... He was sent to her on a mission from the queen, but then he really did fall in love with her. How would they all know that she wasn't human before she did? As far as we know, the queen never even met Sookie... I feel like there's more to this.

Well in the books it was the grandmother who hooked up with a fairy, right? So it could have to do with stuff that happened years ago. Like they just know 'oh Sookie is the granddaughter of so-and-so the fairy'.

Hm, that's true. I wonder if Barry is the same thing. Also, I thought in the books that Jason and Sookie were both part fairy. Her power was the telepathy and his power was just that he was super attractive. It was like, a passive power.

Yeah I was wondering about that, but Jason gets taken over by Maryann.

If he's not supernatural... then...? Are they not brother and sister?

Or he didn't get the supernatural gene.

Poor guy, can't catch a break.

I love Jason just deciding that they must have saved the town, even though they don't remember doing it. That cracked me up.

Yeah, they think they're heroes!

...even though they really didn't have a plan at all.

I feel bad for Andy though. His sad face. He had like 10 minutes of fame when he "caught" Jason for murder in the first season and then poof! He's the town drunk and crazy... and now he was actually right and can't prove it. "If a tree falls in the woods, it's still a tree, ain't it?"

Yeah, he needs to get credit for something next season.

Okay but wait... speaking of "saving the town"... Why wouldn't Bill be like "read Sam's mind" and Sam think, "dont' worry, I won't really die, we have a plan." The whole "use YOUR gift..." and "destroy it all". WTF?

I know. I know he was about to be fake sacrificed and everything, but couldn't Sam have made his thoughts a little clearer?

I guess they needed Sookie to distract Maryann so Bill could heal Sam and then Sam could get all naked and bullish. And then Maryann turns into the corpse bride. It was so predictable honestly...

Yeah, I read a ton of people online saying that this is what they thought would happen.

I was like "ok so Bill will heal Sam..." And then I saw the bull and I'm like "ok so that's Sam?"

For half a second I was like 'what did they do, go to Rent A Bull?' just because it all happened so fast.

Also, the "sneak peak" pics they posted on Facebook gave it away that Sam lives. It showed him at the bar (with the author in a little cameo).

It ends with everyone sad. Sam's crying over a deer and looking for his mean, shifter parents... Bill's kidnapped... Hoyt and his momma...
...Eric stuck in the longest Yahtzee game ever...

...Tara's all heartbroken over Eggs.

I will say that I don't buy Jason killing Eggs like that. That was a major WTF moment for me.

I'm glad! I was like "thank fucking god he's dead already"! Although, dude... why would Jason shoot him right between the eyes?

Yeah, I know. That whole thing was probably my biggest issue with the episode. I could see Jason shouting, threatening Eggs with the gun, or whatever, to get him to back off of Andy. But just killing him like that? I didn't buy it.

Especially after the shit that went down earlier... like maybe Eggs was possessed. You just shoot him in the head without investigating?

Eggs killing himself I would have bought. I thought he might do that because he felt so guilty over what he had done. That would have been more believable to me.

Well, they need to have a whole murder mystery for Season 3... like they always do. I guess they figured there'd be no investigation if it was suicide.

I know, I just didn't think that rang true. It felt like a cheap attempt to have an OMG WTF moment. It would have been better even if it had been like, someone discovers Eggs dead. So it's 'did he commit suicide or was he murdered?'

It will be a police controversy over whether Andy did the right thing... And Jason will be tormented over killing someone.

They'll probably have Tara and Jason get together and then it'll be a 'will she find out the truth after falling for him?' story. And I'm sure at some point it will come out that Sookie helped Eggs remember what Maryann made him do, and then Tara will blame her for his death.

Yep. And I'm sure there will be some sort of 'investigation' into the shooting because Andy JUST getting his badge back and then all of a sudden being involved in a shooting. So they'll all be like "He's drinking again. He's crazy."

Of course. Have we mentioned yet that Andy can never catch a break?

It was kinda cool though how Andy and Jason protected each other (Jason killing Eggs to save Andy, Andy taking the rap for the shooting). In Season 1 Andy was trying to get Jason in jail...

They were so hilarious together this season.

And Eric playing Yahtzee was hilarious. There wasn't enough of him in this episode!

I know! The scene of him with the queen was cool, but I was surprised that he didn't show up again later in the episode.

Is it just me or are her fangs extra huuuuuge? Think it's an age thing? Or a power thing?

Or a "one-size fits all" fake fangs thing.

Okay, so two more important questions. First, who do you think took Bill?

Hoyt's mother, of course What's the second question?

We need a new show... want to come over and watch Vampire Diaries?

Please, that show is so cheesy...I'll be right over.

Kanye Can Suck It

Everyone has already said all that can be said about Kanye West's inappropriate behavior at the VMAs last night... so really, all that's left is to tell him to suck it.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Why Is Reality TV So Boring Lately?

So it's been really difficult watching reality TV lately. I know you're thinking "well, then just don't watch reality TV". I can't not watch reality TV! I have to. It's a sickness. And also, it gives me so much material to write about. But lately... not so much.

We've been watching a lot more scripted television lately, which is good... but we will always have a soft spot in our hearts for terrible, terrible reality TV. The most recent season of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (which was actually good and not "so-bad-it's-good" good) is over and well, very little is left in its place.

Probably the two biggest reality shows on right now are Top Chef and Project Runway both in their sixth seasons and both total snooze-fests. Booooring. I think both series have been on the air too long and so they've basically run out of interesting challenges for the contestants...

This past Thursday on Runway, the designers had to create an outfit to please their clients (i.e., their models). Didn't they already do that on Season 1 with the wedding dress challenge? What happened to making dresses out of car parts or shopping for materials at the grocery store? (Honestly, on Runway, I just fast foward to the runway part and don't even bother watching the actual show anymore.) Now that the show has switched from Bravo to Lifetime (and from New York to L.A.) they've added a partner show The Models of the Runway, which is one part America's Next Top Model and one part "Behind The Scenes at Project Runway" and 100% boring.

Top Chef, now in Las Vegas, is equally blah. (Seriously, how do you make Vegas boring?) A few weeks ago the challenge was to cook for a bachelor and bachelorette party... really? That's the challenge? I guess they did Gail's bridal shower and a few weddings over the years, so why not a bachelor party, but please, it wasn't exciting. They tried to up the creativity by making them cook appetizers to compliment the bride and groom's favorite shots... but that was nothing new either, seeing as they've had a number of booze-related tasks over the years too and none were nearly as boring as this one.

Even VH1, our go-to for cringe-worthy trainwreck style reality shows has been very disappointing. My Antonio is so stupid that we watch it with the sound off (really, the only point of that show is to see Antonio Sabato, Jr. shirtless) and we can't even bring ourselves to watch Tool Academy 2 because it could never stand up to the first season. And sorry, but we will never be desperate enough to watch Real Chance of Love Season 2. (Nothing against Real and Chance, but after I Love New York, I Love Money, and Real Chance of Love Season 1, we've just had enough of the them!)

Oh how we long for the good old days of first season Rock of Love and The Pick-Up Artist.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Rock of Ages: The CD!

Rock Of Ages: Original Broadway Cast Recording
So apparently the Rock of Ages PR team found my review of the Tony-nominated musical. We got an email from someone over at Art Meets Commerce and then next thing we knew, there was a package in our P.O. Box from them... They sent us a Rock of Ages bottle opener keychain and a copy of the Rock of Ages: Original Broadway Cast Recording CD. Yay!

The CD is pretty great... I mean, nothing can compare to actually being there at the live show, but it's still a pretty damn good CD. You haven't heard "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" sound this much fun, since well... last season of Rock of Love.was replaced first by understudy Savannah Wise and then by Kerry Butler).

It contains the full score of the musical and features the voices of the entire cast (including Amy Spanger, the original "Sherry" from the Broadway cast, before she withdrew for personal reasons and

Again, I feel compelled to disclose that I do know a member of the cast and like I said, I did get the CD for free... but it's still a great CD. I would definitely recommend it for a fun time rocking your face off!