Thursday, April 8, 2010

Breaking News: The One Million Moms Don't Like Lady Gaga, Glee, Or...High School Musical?

The One Million Moms have been a little boring with their action alerts lately, but their latest effort, entitled "WARNING: Lady Gaga to appear in 'GLEE'", delivers like Domino's. Check it out:

There is singing and dancing in FOX's hit television program "GLEE," but this is no "High School Musical."
Okay, this HSM talking point is recycled from their first action alert about Glee, and we still have the same question about it that we had then. Who ever said that Glee was another High School Musical? Aside from the obvious high school and music connections, it's a different show on a different channel with a different target audience. It's just a lazy and silly comparison. But this time they manage to one up themselves:
Not that we approve of either, but "GLEE" is far from a family-friendly program in comparison. Sadly, this program was recently awarded the SAG Award and won the 2010 Golden Globe for "Best Television Series."
I actually stopped at this point and forwarded the action alert to Lilith so that she could read it and confirm for me that yes, the Moms are actually saying that they don't approve of High School Musical either. When even Zac Efron isn't wholesome enough for you, I think you've got problems.
Ryan Murphy, the creator of "Nip/Tuck," introduced "GLEE," last year. This show is full of graphic sexual themes involving high school students, casual drug use and teens who lie and manipulate to get what they want. And to be politically correct, they also had a homosexual student "come out" last season.
I would love to read the first draft of this email that has the politically incorrect description of the "coming out" storyline. I'm guessing it involved phrases like "went down the path of deviance", "fell victim to the homosexual agenda", and "failed to let Jesus take the wheel".
The spring premier of "GLEE" airs at a special time on Tuesday, April 13 at 9:30/8:30c. Murphy has announced that he has invited Lady Gaga to make a cameo appearance this season and she has accepted. Lady Gaga is popular in the music industry and has also been named the "New Madonna" for recreating herself time and time again. Her "costumes" and choreography are vulgar and offensive and she has no place on a teen show.

Cameos usually highlight a role-model, but sacrilegious Lady Gaga is far from someone you would want your child to look up to. Her music video, "Bad Romance," she has crosses on caskets of vampire-like characters who wake up and come out to dance with her, lap dances, sparks that fly out of her bra, and she grabs her crotch while in bed with a skeleton. Her back-up dancers consist of men and women, but all appear to be women by cross-dressing. An interview concerning her personal relationships she told one reporter that "she prefers men because they have something that she doesn't, but she was open to a same-sex relationship."
First of all, I was unaware of this Law of Cameos that the Moms are citing here. I now know that when I see a famous person making a cameo appearance on TV or in a movie, I should consider looking up to that person and encouraging children to look up to them as well. Good tip, thanks OMM.

I'm not sure there's anything I can add to their description of Lady Gaga to make it any funnier. Is there anyone on the planet (at least, anyone on the planet who's in the position to be able to sit around on the internet reading action alerts about TV shows) who doesn't already know that Lady Gaga is a person who is "popular in the music industry"? And why the random quotes around the word "costumes"? You can call them "vulgar and offensive", but that doesn't mean that they somehow stop being costumes. They're just vulgar and offensive costumes. (I hear those are popular in the music industry.)

I also love the fact that the grammar in this alert gets progressively worse towards the end there, like whichever Mom they assigned to actually watch and describe the Bad Romance video was fully in the throes of a Gaga-induced freakout as she was writing, and none of the other Moms were able to correct all of the mistakes because they were all getting the vapors just from the description. They were probably all clutching their pearls so hard by "she grabs her crotch while in bed with a skeleton" that they barely even registered the bisexuality quote.

Don't anybody start panicking, because the One Million Moms have got this. They are going to "monitor this program's advertisers closely" and "report back" to us next week. I can't wait. In the meantime, I actually have a bonus Gaga freakout for you, courtesy of Donny Osmond. (I wouldn't be surprised if he was one of the One Million Dads.) This one is about the video for Telephone.
"I'm all for freedom of speech and against any form of censorship, but all I know is that I'm a parent and I'm upset about this," the father of five said in a statement Wednesday.
"Unlike 20 years ago, in today's modern, viral world in which content becomes instantaneously available irrespective of age, I wonder whether the music industry might need to rethink its marketing policies with regard to making an explicit music video containing profanity, sexual exploitation, nudity, and graphic violence available to anyone with Internet access," Osmond, 52, continued.
"I wouldn't want my child to watch this video. Would you? What do you think? Should these two extremely gifted female role models for millions of young girls, maybe, have given a little more thought to the effect it might have on their core audience?" [EOnline via ONTD]

Yes, Donny Osmond actually released a statement just to share his thoughts on the Telephone video. Now, off the top of my head I can't recall Mr. Osmond putting out any statements to critique any other "offensive" videos that have been released in the last few years, but I still choose to believe that he's doing this purely out of personal conviction and not just so that he can get some free press courtesy of Lady Gaga's current popularity in the music industry. Personally, I'm glad he's speaking out. I know it was a real struggle for me to form my own opinion about the video without knowing how Donny Osmond felt about it, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

So please, nobody tell Donny about internet porn. Or Cosmo's website. Or The Bloggess' sex column. Because even if the music industry did decide to "rethink its marketing policies" somehow, all of those filthy things would still be readily accessible. And so would "Telephone", regardless of the marketing. Because it's the internet. And it's Lady Gaga. Unless you're home schooling your teenagers in an underground bunker somewhere, they're probably eventually going to hear her music and see her videos. And most likely they're not going to be scarred for life by it, or by seeing an episode of Glee or anything else "inappropriate" that's out there, especially if they have decent parents and role models of the non-cameo variety who are involved in their lives.

I'm not saying that there are no issues at all when it comes to sex and violence in the media, especially as it relates to kids and teenagers. I do think that you have to pick your battles, and the One Million Moms consistently pick the wrong ones for the wrong reasons. Maybe if I started getting some action alerts that were more 'problematic depictions of violence against women on popular crime shows' and less 'all shows with any gay characters or storylines should be canceled immediately', I might start to believe that the One Million Moms truly care about protecting kids from things that could actually harm them.

I'd also like to state for the record that yes, obviously I listened to Lady Gaga the entire time I was writing this. Show me your teeth, Moms.

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