Wednesday, May 5, 2010

JohnnyRavenLambertBoxx: A Scientific Formula

We thought about writing this up as a real blog, but you know, we covered everything so perfectly in our conversation so we figured why not just give it to you in its original, pure form... Well, that and we're totally lazy...

Lilith: Um, did Johnny Weir call Evan Lysacek a "slore" on the Wendy Williams Show?

Jezebel: Yeah, but he totally deserved it.

Lilith: LOL, well, I'm sure he did... but what was that about?

Jezebel: Well, Evan Lysacek said some really obnoxious crap in an interview about the whole Stars on Ice thing... He said that Stars on Ice only hires the best of the best, so it would have been hard for them to justify hiring Johnny... and also that Johnny needed the money... and that people were tired of him "whining" about it.

Lilith: WTF!

Jezebel: It was really bitchy. And totally untrue considering how many washed up or never-won-anything or haven't-won-anything-yet people are on Stars on Ice.

Lilith: I get that he didn't win a gold medal this year, but um, he's still a three-time national champion. It's not like he's some amateur.

Jezebel: Exactly. So it was basically like he said it just to be nasty. Wendy Williams asked Johnny about it and you could tell he was pissed, but he just gave his standard answer about Stars on Ice and then something like "as for Evan... he's a slore."

Lilith: Hm.

Jezebel: So some of the gay blogs weren't thrilled with Evan, obviously. Because really, it was GLAAD and them who first made a big deal about the Stars on Ice thing, not Johnny himself. So a lot of people were like "way to dismiss people complaining about homophobia as whiners" ... especially when many people believe that Evan is gay too. In the same interview he said that he's still single because he "hasn't found the right girl."

Lilith: The right girl?

Jezebel: Yeah girls who are into pegging and who will let you call them "Johnny" all night can be hard to find.

Lilith: Ouch.

Jezebel: I might be just a little bit bitter. [For a less bitter and obnoxious and inappropriate take on the 'is Evan gay?' question, see OutSports.]

Lilith: Understood.

Jezebel: I think he's probably annoyed because even though he won, it's like nobody cares. He's totally one of those "who was that guy that won the Olympics that one year?" people.

Lilith: "The year Johnny Weir was in it?" / "Yeah, that year."

Jezebel: Yeah. Like people remember Michelle Kwan, even though she never won the gold, but it's like "Sarah Hughes? Who's that again?"

Lilith: Basically Evan Lysacek is Tyra Sanchez. She may have won, but Raven and Pandora were really the stand out contestants. (I can find any way to bring any topic back to RuPaul's Drag Race!)

Jezebel: Yeah, when they're on Season 8 of Drag Race, nobody will remember Tyra.

Lilith: Or Ilan and Marcel from Top Chef. Ilan may have won the money, but you know Marcel will end up having a better career as a chef in the long run. I'm sure we could find an example from every reality show ever.
Jezebel: I fucking hated Ilan. Worst winner ever. Then there's American Idol (not that we watch that). You couldn't name half the winners. Raven even compared herself to Adam Lambert in an interview. Like "nobody remembers the other guy."

Lilith: It's true though. Where the hell is Kris Allen?

Jezebel: I mean, he has his fans obviously. But it's just different.

Lilith: Yeah, Adam Lambert is hugely famous now. Everyone knows him, even if they don't like him, he's a household name now.

Jezebel: Well, apparently he and Johnny Weir hung out at the GLAAD Awards and follow each other on Twitter. Oh and RuPaul was at the GLAAD Awards too, so now we've tied every topic together, lol.

Lilith: I love when it wraps up nicely at the end!

Neither of them ended up with Bret Michaels in the long run.
But no one will ever forget Heather (and her hair)!
New York might've been rejected two seasons in a row on Flavor of Love,
but she went on to star in not one, not two, but three spin-off shows.

Jennifer Hudson came in 7th place on American Idol.
And then she won an Oscar, a Golden Globe, a Grammy, etc....

Which "Miss America" 1984 (yes, there were two) do you best know today?

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