Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Conscience Off, Dick On: A Review of the True Blood Premiere

Okay, I think we've waited long enough that we can write about the True Blood Season 3 Premiere without ruining it for everyone who had it on DVR. If you haven't watched it by now (what are you waiting for!?) then this will obviously contain spoilers... so... tough luck!

This episode "Bad Blood" was so bad it was good... It had kind of a sad start, with everyone upset over something - Tara over the death of Eggs; Jason over his secret role in that death; Sookie over the fact that her almost-fiancĂ© Bill has been vamp-napped. But then it became clear that the writers were going to give the readers exactly what they want this season (or at least some of what we want).

Nerve.com has compiled a list of the top five things we want to see in True Blood's third season and the fans have made a pretty hefty wish list for season 3 (plus we have some requests of our own!) So let's see how the first episode stacked up against what the readers have been hoping and asking for... to prove whether Alan Ball and the forces behind True Blood really have been listening.

  • More Sexy Eric Scenes
Well, they certainly delivered on this one, having Sookie walk in Eric as he's "initiating" one of Fangtasia's new dancers. We even got to see his butt (which now has it's own twitter) as he stands around naked talking to Sookie. Now that scene was just fan service. Not that we're complaining!

Sexy nakie Eric photos blatantly stolen from Celebitchy.com

  • More Pam
Unlike Sookie, we're always in the mood for Pam's "lesbian weirdness". Pam has definitely been underused in the past two seasons... but if the premiere was any indication, we're thinking she might actually have some kind of a plot line in season three. Possibly her best line of the night (in response to Lafayette's "no can do hooker"):
“I don’t know what it is about me that makes people think I want to hear their problems. Maybe I smile too much. Maybe I wear too much pink. But please remember, I can rip your throat out if I need to, and also know that I am not a hooker. That was a long, long time ago.”
Love it.

  • A Little Bit of Sam/Bill Homoeroticism
Oh yes. The fans have been hoping for this ever since Sam drank Bill's blood in the second season finale. (We all know what that vampire blood can do to your libido...) The Sam/Bill sex dream was both sexy and hilarious at the same time.
“I hear the water in Arkansas is … very hard.”

  •  Less Annoying Stupid Tara
Note that doesn't say "less Tara"... we'd actually like to see more Tara. But enough of this annoying stupid victim version of Tara! It feels like the writers have been putting Tara through this endless downward spiral since season one and we're sick of it. We were happy to see Eggs go (because he was rather irritating) but we can't take a whole season of Tara mourning and blaming. Please bring back the smart, sassy Tara that we remember...


  • More Lafayette
Unfortunately, Lafayette was more of a supporting character in this episode... taking care of Tara, dealing with Pam. Let's hope that this season Lafayette doesn't just play sidekick to the rest of the cast because he's just too good of a character to be wasted on that. We've heard that he's going to get his own little story arc [spoiler] this season, so we're really looking forward to that.

  • More Jessica and/or Hoyt
We really enjoyed the sweetness of the relationship between Jessica and Hoyt... and both of them are just such funny characters in their own ways. This episode hinted that we might be seeing more of Hoyt this season because he has moved in with Jason. As for Jessica, she got lots of laughs this episode as she tried to deal with a trucker she accidentally killed. Another character might not have been as cute and sympathetic in the same situation, but we have to remember that as a young vampire she has poor impulse control and is still learning how to do all this vampy stuff, so it all came off as hilarious instead of horrifying.


  • More Jason/Andy Stupidity 
Some of the funniest moments of Season 2 were conversations between Andy and Jason (who can forget the burning question "Do you think Sam could turn into a chicken and lay his own egg?") and there was no shortage of quotable moments from this episode. While we personally find the the Jason murder story pretty annoying, it's worth it just to see more Jason/Andy scenes.
"When this thing blows over you can go out and not get laid all you want to, but for now you gotta be the Jason Stackhouse everybody knows. So conscience off, dick on. And everything's gonna be alright."

  • More Great Quotable One-Liners
Speaking of which... this episode was filled with great quotes left and right, especially from supporting characters like Arlene. Possibly the best quote of the episode was Arlene's response to an angry Tara:
"I’m sorry you fell in love with a serial killer, all right? But honestly, who here hasn’t?"
Pretty much sums up the whole show doesn't it?

  • Werewolves!
Yep, they're here! Season 3 will finally introduce us to some werewolf characters. We only saw a little bit of foreshadowing this episode: howling in the distance, Bill facing off with a few wolves in the woods, Jessica and Sookie identifying the Operation Werewolf rune symbol (apparently there's an app for that). Can't wait to see what happens next week.

What do you all think? Did the season premiere satisfy your blood lust or did it disappoint? Anything you wish they would (or wouldn't) have included in this episode? Hopes for next week? Let us know.

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